WTF...?

My brother's just face-planted the floor. Literally, he just got up and keeled over like a log. He came to quickly enough, but it was still a bit of a surprise. My brother is prone to fainting spells and we haven't even come to a proper conclusion of what's causing them. He went for a brain scan when he was very little and another he went to more recently. He's thirteen years old, nearly fourteen, and falling like a newborn giraffe. It's quite bizarre.

Anyway. The diagnosis for me is official now, apparently - bipolar type 2, characterised by episodes of severe depression and episodes of hypomania. I'm actually quite surprised. I didn't expect them to come up with this diagnosis so soon. It's lead me to feel a bit out of my depth and wondering if I really am in the same boat as stars such as Stephen Fry and Richard Dreyfuss. Apart from the times where I'm wanting to kill myself and bouncing off the walls in a state of heightened euphoria, I feel pretty normal. I'm told that's how it's supposed to be. Anyway, my opinion, or my view or my perception or whatever you want to call it, on my diagnosis has been rather erratic. At first, it was a light suggestion that fit in with my episodes of rage, despair and ecstasy. Then I was rather shamelessly convinced, ahead of the game, ahead of everyone else. Then I was firmly in denial, refusing to accept it. I didn't feel comfortable with being noted as "mentally ill". I'm still a bit discomforted by that very prospect, if I'm honest. Now, with the rest of my life ahead of me, I journey on, carrying nothing more than a label for my seemingly childish mood swings.

I can hear my brother chattering away downstairs. The fall obviously didn't affect him much. He's okay, and I'm glad he is, but like my mother, I'm concerned for his wellbeing while he's plagued by these fainting spells. Let's just hope he doesn't fall onto anything too lethal in years to come.

My God. There are a lot of freaks in this family XD